It began with a question: “Am I good enough for this world?” The question triggers an uncertainty, a nagging doubt, which eventually attaches to your soul, like a parasite.

Perhaps your parents did not adequately manage to show their love for you; they were unable to express their love clearly enough or often enough. Perhaps it was something else; maybe school underlined and reinforced the misgivings you had about yourself. Or maybe there weren’t any apparent reason at all; it’s just how it came to be.

Many of us have not learned how to show that we appreciate others, and we also fail to notice it when others appreciate us. We sometimes lack the language for appreciation. When someone pays us a compliment we blush as if we are ashamed. It is silly is not it – that we cannot fully receive a compliment and appreciate it? And why do we not compliment others more often?

We do not know how long our loved ones will be with us. No one knows what is around the next corner. It is almost only those who have lost who know what it means. Therefore I say, I love you to my wife and son many times each day. I say I love you to my friends, family, even if it sometimes feels awkward.

But back to you. You looked at yourself in the mirror and the Question increased in strength. You saw the pimples on your forehead, or you thought you were carrying too much weight. You weigh more than the model in the women’s magazine. The question gradually turned to contempt.

The contempt grew. You developed a distorted picture of yourself, but you were not aware that was what you did. You just heard the voice that said: “You are not good enough,” “You’re ugly, and no one will ever love you.” But what the voice says is a lie, and it’s time to stop listening to it.

For you are more than good enough. You are unique, a beautiful being. There is no one like you in the entire universe. Every man and every woman is a star.

I love you. I really do, even though I have never met you. I do not always love everyone, all the time. I did not love the man that almost ran over my son on his bike that day, but I love people. Every human being is a whole world to themselves – Irreplaceable.

Maybe you can start to love yourself. Take a fresh look at yourself; see your strengths and what you are good at. For you are beautiful, albeit not as superficially beautiful as the photoshopped models. But screw them, they have no relevance. You are beautiful, a masterpiece of 100,000 years of human evolution, a concert played by thousands of organs and billions of cells. I care about you, and I’m not alone. If the voice says something else, it is lying.

 

Read more in Rise from Darkness, a self-help book on how to get rid of depression and which is packed with techniques you can use to get that much better.